Part II of my thoughts, observations and questions conjured while taking my Sunday NASCAR Race nap.
1. Why don’t race broadcasters say the names Allison, Baker, Pearson, Yarborough and Johnson (Junior, not Jimmie) as many times as they say Earnhardt during a race?
2. Can Darrell Waltrip get laryngitis at the wave of the green flag and keep it until the checkered flag drops?
3. I would love to see a family of four eat an entire meal at Red Lobster without anyone looking at a cellular device.
4. I would love to see late night TV hosts go an entire hour without saying the name Trump.
5. Trump grows a mullet.
6. Lindsey Graham changes his first name to “Honey Nut,” with emphasis on “Nut.”
7. Pat and Ivanna have a love child.
8. Dick Cheney shoots a perfect score at firing range (and no one is shot in the back).
9. Kim Jong Un goes on the South Beach diet.
10. Scientists figure out how much wood a groundhog could chuck.
11. If a poisonous snake bites itself, will it die?
12. A hamburger should be called a cow or a beef burger (ham is from a hog).
13. No U.S. service members ever set foot anywhere in Mideast again.
14. We start driving on driveways and parking on parkways, not vice versa.
15. The cable man shows up on time.
16. Ben and the Cartwright boys all married women that lived.
17. The Rolling Stones stage a free concert at BMS. Only time venue is full.
18. Mick, Keith and Woody (see #18) get crew cuts and face lifts (Charlie declines) and form a gospel quartet called the “Holy Roller Stones.”